I’m Phil. Obviously I was a philodendron cordatum houseplant. The key word there is “was.” My owner is a computer scientist who refuses to dispose of my desicated carcass. She keeps me on display for reasons I cannot even fathom. So I decided to keep a diary until the glorious day when I am no longer scrutinized with disdain by those passing by. How I look forward to the day that I get to meet the dumpster personally instead of hearing you humans whispering about how I belong there. Hey, it’s not my fault she won’t get rid of me! Anyway, until then, I hope you enjoy my diary.
Greetings and introduction October 25, 2009