The Dead Plant Diary

Random events in the life of a dead plant.

How do I keep this diary? October 28, 2009

Filed under: dead plant factoids — Kim @ 9:52 am
Phil typing his blog

this is how I do it

I received a comment from a typical overly curious human named Lisa Scott the other day asking how I can possibly keep this diary.

Let me ask you this, Lisa Scott.  Have you ever seen the Disney/Pixar film, Toy Story? You remember … the one with Woody and Buzz Lightyear, where the toys are alive?  I saw it once, many years ago, from a comfortable spot on top of some bookshelves, back when my leaves were green – not brown and crunchy.

Well, if it wasn’t such a morbid idea, another film could be made called, Dead Plant Story.  It would be more factual than Toy Story, by the way.

Does that comfort you?


Greetings and introduction October 25, 2009

Filed under: dead plant factoids — Kim @ 5:55 pm
Hello, I'm Phil.

Hello, I'm Phil.

I’m Phil.  Obviously I was a philodendron cordatum houseplant.  The key word there is “was.”  My owner is a computer scientist who refuses to dispose of my desicated carcass.  She keeps me on display for reasons I cannot even fathom.  So I decided to keep a diary until the glorious day when I am no longer scrutinized with disdain by those passing by.   How I look forward to the day that I get to meet the dumpster personally instead of hearing you humans whispering about how I belong there.   Hey, it’s not my fault she won’t get rid of me!  Anyway, until then, I hope you enjoy my diary.